Building the Puzzle, One Log & Bucket at a Time

Presence & self-reflection are the ultimate power couple

“The unexamined life is not worth living” —Socrates

Ok, Socrates, that’s pretty intense. That guy must have had a wild and amazing puzzle. I have found myself sitting with this quote, struggling to fully understand it, but as someone who feels like they have some kind of self-reflection curse it’s hard to imagine a life otherwise. Perhaps in his day it was less common, but I feel like we’re bombarded with nudges and suggestions to take a look inside.

In the vein of taking a look inside, as I was reflecting on my post on faiths & philosophies, I think I was speaking too harshly, naively, about the ones I explored. I mentioned not finding answers, but I’m guessing had I spent more time with a master of each they would have answers to most of my questions. I just didn’t go far enough. In the end I must believe I found the puzzle pieces I was looking for, in each, to bring me to this moment.

Socrates really drove home self-reflection and self-awareness and his method for practicing it is one of the oldest and most enduring. His ‘dialectic inquiry’ is popularized in groups but can also be done by ourselves, on our own beliefs. My kids go to a school that has weekly ‘socratic discussions’ where they split into teams and temporarily take an opposing viewpoint (whether they agree with their team or not) and discuss the arguments for each side.

Questioning our values, beliefs, and I say down to our ‘chopping wood & carrying water’ is the best way to discover and strengthen that magical soup combining our beliefs, our natural tendencies, and our vision for the future. A primary tool for puzzle-building. The socratic method is considered the basis for much modern therapy, including the only therapy I’ve ever had success with - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

It’s also supremely easy to practice - we just relentlessly ask ourselves questions, the more challenging to our beliefs the better, and observe our responses. “Why do I believe this?” “Is this always true?” “What is the evidence against this?” “What are the consequences if I’m wrong?”

For the intention/attention cycle of puzzle building we also pull a little from Stoic journaling, too. Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations as a nightly self-check on whether he lived in accordance with virtue. Existentialism is the ultimate questioning and good for digging deeper - “What gives life meaning?” “Am I living authentically or just conforming?” And of course Buddhists propose a “no-self” inquiry - “who is the ‘I’ experiencing this?”

These are all tools to explore to get better at self-reflection. Reflecting on our moments (hopefully many) of presence during whatever preceding timeframe can help us better know our brains, our preferred neural pathways, and what we’re good at to find more presence. A cycle of experience & self-expression.

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chop wood. carry water.

“How did chopping that wood & carrying that water feel?” “Was I good at it?” “Would I choose that water and that wood again?”

chop wood. carry water. —with a little extra awareness

“How did chopping that wood & carrying that water feel this time?” “Was I good at it?” “Would I choose that water and that wood again?” “Did that wood & water help build the parts of my puzzle I care about?”

chop different wood. carry different water.

“How did chopping that wood & carrying that water feel compared to before?” “Was I good at it?” “Would I choose that water and that wood again?” “Did that wood & water help build the parts of my puzzle I care about?” “Why do I care about those parts of my puzzle?” “Am I building the puzzle that best fits me?”

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When I look at other puzzles and feel like my puzzle isn’t good enough I try to ask myself “where am I not being present in my own puzzle?” because being present AND intentional leaves no room for ego and comparisons. It’s a beautiful practice. Any time a puzzle piece doesn’t fit I go into self-reflection. Even when everything is clicking and I feel like I’m driving dramatic impact I still try to stop and reflect “What are my blind spots right now?” “Is there anything my optimism is glazing over that I should pay more attention to?”

When I wake up each day, there’s not just one pile of wood to chop; there are dozens. According to Zen Buddhism it doesn’t matter, all the wood is the same. But to our puzzles all the wood isn’t the same, and that’s ok. Some piles of wood glow brighter, we’re drawn to chop that wood. Reflecting on the chopping helps us discern whether we were drawn to it from desire or from our puzzle vision. As our puzzle vision grows stronger, we find ourselves drawn to wood that builds our puzzle. THAT’S the wood where chopping becomes easy, presence flows naturally.

This zooming in then zooming out has become natural to me by using The Puzzle as the lens. It’s an intention/attention cycle - placing puzzle pieces then looking back at the puzzle I built. I get lost less often - those moments when we wonder how we got here, if we took a misstep somewhere. Everything fits more often. Not always, but more often because of the more regular reflection.

While I don’t journal or have any structure to my reflections I know it could be a powerful tool. I have a 3D (actually 4D, but that’s hard to explain) vision of my current puzzle and what I’m working towards. I have yet to find an artist or software that can help me represent it in 2D or even 3D on a screen. I have to keep reminders about my puzzle to remember the vision and all the pieces. I keep my vision private, though. Expressing my vision for myself to anyone else feels like it puts pressure on it and me and I don’t particularly need validation or collaboration with it. Whether you want to keep yours private or share it with the world to help you crystallize it (or just share it with me, I welcome that!) I hope my journey to discover this framework helps someone be the best version of themselves.